Harsh Realization

I realized something today that's been staring me in the face for a few weeks. I'm done with this. At least with the charade that I'll make 200 pounds in some short period of time. How do I know this? I'm cheating, and it's happening easier and easier each day. I stood up to the donuts a couple days ago, but I caved in a major way today. While sampling a 1/3 of a Paul's Donut, I didn't leave the break room until I'd scarfed 2 whole 'nuts. I told you it was like heroin.

It was a hard work week, and, for better or worse, I believe in rewards. I conquered this work week masterfully, crossed off a couple honey-do items, and felt the freedom to reward myself tonight. After killing two donuts in the span of a minute, a handful hours later I put a hurting a sixer of Legend Brown. On the plus side, my dinner consisted of a gardens worth of greens and a chicken breast. Perhaps I'm learning some good long-haul habits. Still, 200lbs hasn't fest so unobtainable since January 1.

I may take a vacation from this. Maybe a week or two, just to ditch the pressure for a couple weeks, come back renewed. I fully intend to meet my goal this year, but it feels like the wheels are spinning. Maybe this blog will gather dust. I'm just not sure.

Food Log:

Breakfast:
yogurt - 2
South Beach bar - 4

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine chix enchiladas - 5
salad - 5
Fiber One bar - 4

Snack:
2x Paul's Donuts - 12

Dinner:
chix caesar salad - 7
pudding - 3
beer - 12
bourbon - 3

57/44